Mary Rosenblum is instructor and web editor for Long Ridge Writers Group.  Author of eight novels and more than 50 published short stories in multiple genres as well as nonfiction, she shares her love of writing whenever she can. 

 

 

 

 

Tinting Exposition With Character

 

By Mary Rosenblum

 

What exactly is ‘exposition’?  It is everything that is not dialogue – i.e. description.  When your character, Angie, dashes across the room to grab for the vase as it topples from the table…that is exposition in third person: Angie dashed across the room to grab for the vase as it toppled from the table.   In first person we’d have; I dashed across the room to grab for the vase as it toppled from the table.  This is narrative exposition.   Pretty straightforward, right?  So what is this matter of ‘tinting’. 

 

‘Tinting’ your descriptions, means you color them with your Point of View character’s world view.  Every word we utter reflects our outlook on the world, the sum total of our life experiences.  A young girl might look at a nineteen year old boy and see a cute guy,  a shy, middle aged woman might nervously notice a  gang member, and an elderly man might scowl at the  punk.   If you, the writer, simply described him as a ‘young adult’, then the words and the world view belong to neither of those three characters, they belong to you.

 

By saturating your exposition with the world view of your Point of View character, you deepen and reinforce the characterization with every sentence you write.   This is critical in a first person narrative, where the first person Point of View character should not only speak in his or her own voice, but that voice should reflect the personality of the character.  But it’s also a subtle and powerful took in limited third person POV, where the exposition begins to seem like the POV character’s own awareness if the word choices and vocabulary suit the character. 

 

In the following two examples, two different POV characters walk through a park.  The first character has no interest in gardening or landscaping and the second character is an avid gardener. Notice the difference in description between the two examples. 

 

Angie cut through the City Central park.  Nice day, blue sky, and the sun had brought out all the soccer nuts in the city.  A bunch of guys kicked a ball around.  She  eyed the tall one playing goalie.  Not bad, even if he did have a beard.  She veered left at the fountain – still dry this early – and cut south toward Fourth.  With luck, she’d be on time for the meeting. 

 

Cassidy took the bike path through City Central.  The untrimmed shrubs and muddy grass curled his lip, in spite of the blue sky.  A half dozen men in shorts kicked a soccer ball around , all hairy legs, TV bellies,  and winter-white skin, churning the grass to a muddy mess.  Some men shouldn’t wear shorts in public this time of year.  Cassidy rolled his eyes and cut south, toward Fourth. At least the daphne was blooming.  He inhaled its sweet scent, feeling a little better.  The park was a disgrace, but what could you do?  He glanced at his watch.  He’d be just on time for the meeting. 

 

Notice the vast difference between the two trips.  Angie notices blue sky and regards the ball players with a tone of amused interest.   They’re ‘soccer nuts’ and one of them is kind of cute.  We get the feeling that Angie might be open to a new boyfriend or at least she likes to look.  And she doesn’t care much for beards.  She notices the dry fountain, but the details of the landscape go unnoticed.  It’s just a park and she comes here often.  What’s to notice?

 

Cassidy on the other hand, is displeased with the untrimmed shrubs and the muddy grass and it casts a pall on his day.  He is critical of the men in shorts, but the blooming daphne catches his attention and makes him feel better.  He pays no attention to the dry fountain...it doesn’t interest him.

 

The specific details mentioned in each of these passages reflected the character’s interest in the scene.  Angie and Cassidy are very different people and they notice very different things as they walk through that park.  By the end of the paragraph, the reader has a slightly better sense of what each character likes, dislikes, and cares about.  This exposition has been ‘tinted’ with the character’s personality.

 

Take the time to think about what your POV character would notice as you describe the scene. The more we forget that you, the author, are telling the story, the more we begin to live the story.  That is the essence of strong prose.