Writing Craft - Newsletter

Great news from all of you!  How about YOU out there?  Haven’t you sent something off?  Tell us!  Actually dropping that manuscript into the mail or clicking send on the email is the hardest part of writing.  Applause is in order!

Send me more  news at:  MaryRosenblum@forums.longridgewritersgroup.com

 

GETTING STARTED :  Ogeal Halfacre Webster

I just got back my test yesterday. I am planning to take the course that starts in August.
I have written a book, "Growing up on the Cumberland River." This is a memoir and history book about the Cumberland River in Tennessee. I included history of our forefathers who settled on the Cumberland. Granville, TN became a steamboat town in the 20s'. I wrote a chapter, "Rolling on the River," telling how my father used to tell me about the captains tooted their whistle if he was in the river bottoms working. My chapter on, "Dining on the Cumberland, describes our food during the great depression.  I included recipes and told about hog killing, making lard, kraut, hominy and all of those things. In "War on the Cumberland," I tell about General George Patton choosing our part of Tennessee for maneuvers because the river was like the Rhine and the terrain was like that of Germany. Thousands of soldiers built pontoon bridges and had mock battles on our farms. During the sixties our farms and home were taken by TVA so dams could be built. The Cordell Hull Dam covers all of our land now.  Many memories are shared and
the final chapter is called,  "The Silver Lining," describing the Village today.  It has a museum, old country store, veterans park , our original doctor's office, post office etc. that this generation is preserving.
I self published my book, I have had two book signings. One was at theHeritage Day Celebration in Granville, the other was at the club house where I now live.
I would like to sell more. 

Welcome to the course, Ogeal, and I love your name!  That alone should sell a few books for you.  And I think you’ll find that the course will help you a lot with your memoir writing.  The better your writing, the more your readers are engaged….and then you sell more!  Enjoy the course, it’s great to have you aboard here. 

 

 I need news.    I need YOUR news, whether you’re a Graduate, catching us up, a Newbie who just started the course, or just want to share your First Steps into writing with us.  Send it to me at:  MaryRosenblum@forums.longridgewritersgroup.com

 

SPOTLIGHT: Revealing Character Through Dialogue

   We learn early on, as writers, how valuable dialogue is as a tool.  It is a great  way to feed the reader lots of concentrated information without intruding with our author’s  voice.  In fiction that is invaluable!  Even in personal narrative nonfiction, it is often much more effective to let the characters we have introduced share information with the reader.  It saves us from droning on endlessly about a topic or situation.  But dialogue plays an even more critical role.  It is an excellent method of revealing character. For some how-to tips,  check out  Who Am I? Revealing Character Through Dialogue in Writing Craft:  Character Development

 

PROFESSIONAL CONNECTION POST A NOTE CONVERSATION – Key Kenyon

 

If you missed our  Post A Note visit with Kay Kenyon, I’m sorry. It was a lot of fun, Kay was a great guest, and you all had excellent questions for her.  Science Fiction and fantasy author, former TV copywriter and actress, and the person behind the Write on the River Writers Conference, in Wenatchee, Washington, Kay talked about the journey from idea, to plot, to story, revision, and surviving as a writer.    The topic threads are still up, so you can drop in to check out the conversation, even though the interview has ended. 

Do check out her excellent  conference in eastern Washington, Write on the River and think about putting it on your calendar for next May.  At her website you can sign up for her e-newsletter on writing fiction.

Kay believes in character-driven science fiction with strong world-building. Her work explores such themes as biological transformation and the dilemmas of alien contact and cultural change. Her novels and short stories have variously been anthologized, podcast, recorded in audible.com versions and translated into French, Russian, Spanish and Czech.

She’s spent the last few years writing an epic sci-fantasy series, The Entire and the Rose. It is the story of a man’s odyssey in search of his family through a tunnel universe with a river of fire for a sky. The first books, Bright of the Sky and A World Too Near received starred reviews in Publishers Weekly. The Washington Post called the series “a splendid fantasy quest as compelling as anything by Stephen R. Donaldson, Philip Jose Farmer, or yes, J.R.R. Tolkien.” The third book, City Without End, came out in February and the series will finish with the fourth book, Prince of Storms next January. Her shorter work has recently appeared in The Solaris Book of New Science Fiction-Vol. Two and Fast Forward 2. Her other novels include The Braided World, a John W. Campbell finalist, Tropic of Creation, Rift, The Seeds of Time and Maximum Ice, a 2002 Philip K. Dick finalist.

She lives in Wenatchee with her husband Tom Overcast who loves science fiction, too. They share a home with a large orange cat who prefers to drink from the irrigation ditch for “something extra.”

And I can tell you from personal experience that the Write on the River conference is well worth the money!  It’s very good. Thank you, Kay!

 

 Do check out her website and take a look at her cool books. 

 

All Professional Connection Conversations take place on the Long Ridge Post a Note board. 

 

Note:  Because of a nasty spam attack, all new members must be checked out and approved before they can gain ‘member’ status, and guests can no longer post.  I apologize in advance for the inconvenience.  You should receive your approval when you register within 24 hours.   If you see strange or illegible posts, do please report them or email me at:  MaryRosenblum@forums.longridgewritersgroup.com

OPEN FORUM REPORT:

If you haven't tried the chat rooms yet, Visit our Using the New Chat Rooms for instructions on how to use our lovely new chat site! For the Forums, enter (you'll find yourself in the Lounge) and select the Auditorium from the pull-down menu at the top of the page.   

OUR NEXT FRIDAY AFTER HOURS FORUM meets July 3.  Let’s talk about Narrative Distance…how far back to stand your readers and why it matters.     

 

The AFTER HOURS FORUM begins at:
6PM Pacific
7PM Mountain
8PM Central
9 PM Eastern
10 PM Atlantic/Canada.

  OUR NEXT TUESDAY LUNCHBOX FORUM meets  Tuesday,  July 7.   Let’s talk about publishing today.  Print publishers have taken a hard hit, so what is left for the aspiring writer?       

The TUESDAY LUNCHBOX FORUM begins at:
10AM Pacific
11AM Mountain
12 Noon Central
1PM Eastern
2PM Atlantic/Canada.

All Forums take place on the Chat Site , in the Auditorium.

Check the Calendar Page and this newsletter for other dates!

And check out our archived Forum Transcripts.

 

FROM THE INSTRUCTOR'S DESK

Writing tips from Donna Ippolito, Long Ridge instructor.

Donna Ippolito has been writing, editing, and teaching others to write for more than 20 years. From 1985 to 2001, she was editor-in-chief at FASA Corporation, a Chicago publisher that packaged best-selling science fiction and fantasy novel lines for Penguin Books and Time-Warner. These included the popular BattleTech, Shadowrun, Earthdawn, and Vor series. So check out her websites at www.expert-editor.com and http://dreamscoop.blogspot.com/.

Prior to that, Ms. Ippolito was an editor at the Swallow Press, a prestigious publisher of both literary and commercial titles. Writers published by Swallow include celebrated novelist Anaïs Nin; Jungian analyst Linda Leonard; futurist Robert Theobald; Zen poet Lucien Stryk; and distinguished anthropologist W. Y. Evans-Wentz. She also worked as a senior editor for Consumer Digest Magazine and was a founding editor of Black Maria, a quarterly journal of women’s writing.  

·         Luann M. asks: My article came out 500 words too long. If I cut it to fit the submission guidelines, I won’t do justice to the topic. Can I just leave it at 3,000 words and submit it anyway?

 

Donna writes:  If the submission guidelines ask for 2,500 words or less, that’s what you should submit. From long experience as an editor, I know that anything can be cut down to size. At times, I had to ask authors to slash 20,000 words or more from a completed, well-written novel. In my own writing, I once had to pack four months of research on how the top 100 U.S. charities spend their money into a 1,000-word article. We can all take our cue from Zinsser, who says you can cut 50 percent from just about any piece of writing without losing anything.

What usually happens with word count is that a writer falls in love with certain phrases, sentences, paragraphs, or sections, and just can't bear to part with them. As a writer, I understand this only too well, but as an editor I know you must "slay your darlings". Write as much as you please in the early drafts, but put on your editor’s hat when it’s time to revise.

First, make sure you've got a clear slant (a "point"--something the reader can "take away" from the article). Then be sure that everything in the article supports that slant. A topic is one thing--usually vast. A slant narrows it down to manageable size and is tailored to a specific readership. Writing for popular magazines isn’t the same as writing a research paper or an encyclopedia entry.

Next, scrutinize every word, editing yourself to the bone. Weed out adverbs and adjectives, all instances of passive voice, all circuitous phrasing that doesn't go straight to the point, all high-falutin' language that doesn't say what you mean but tries to sound lofty and educated, and so on. Use the computer's word count tool as you go. Tweak here, condense there, cut somewhere else, always going back and forth between word count and your text. You’ll learn a lot about writing well. Best of all, you’ll be teaching yourself!

 

Do you have a question for Donna? Here's your chance to ask her something. Email your question about all things writing to me and I'll pass it on so that she can answer it in the next Newsletter issue. You can mail your question to me at: MaryRosenblum@forums.longridgewritersgroup.com

SUMMERTIME BLUES PROMPT:   

 

Are  you ready for the ‘Summertime Blues’?  What are they, anyway, other than a song lyric?  Blue has a thousand shades and we can come up with thousand answers to that question, right?  So I asked you to write a flash fiction story, up to 500 words to represent the summertime blues. 

I enjoyed all of our blues glimpses and it was hard to come up with my First Picks.  But here they are….

______________________ 

Maureen Bonatch

"I can't believe the school year is over." Lisa folded her arms across her cobalt shirt and grimaced. "I'm dreading entertaining Anthony and Johnny all summer."
Susan smiled, taking in the clear blue sky.  "I'm kind of looking forward to spending time with Tessa." 
The roar of the bus announced it's arrival.  Above the BlueBird Bus logo, tiny heads bobbed as they scurried to exit. Whoops and cheers emanated from the tiny mob, celebrating three months of freedom. 
Susan searched the faces.  "Tessa?"  Susan's smile faltered.  Tessa's Blue's Clues lunchbox clanked against her jean clad leg as she burst toward her mother. 
"What's wrong?" Susan clutched Tessa after she collided into her legs.  Her cries muffled against Susan's indigo shorts.
Tessa's baby blue eyes scrunched up, pushing fat tears down her cheeks as she wailed, "I miss Julie!"
"What? You just saw her." Susan gestured to the pig-tailed girl sporting navy ribbons and an identical expression of agony peering out the bus window as it continued up the hill.
Tessa sniffled, throwing her head back and opening her mouth so wide that she was in danger of choking on her blueberry bubblegum and bellowed, "I won't get to see Julie all summer!"
Susan met Lisa's gaze as she was trying to corral her two terrors wrestling on the lawn, adding more black and blue marks to their collection.
"Still looking forward to it?" Lisa smirked with a raised brow.
Susan was spared a reply when the boys rolled over the Cool Blue Juicebox from their lunch, spraying a sapphire colored liquid over them.
"Boys!" Lisa deftly separated their intertwined limbs and stilled them with a narrowed look.  Heads hanging, they trudged behind their mother. 
Susan hunkered down to Tessa, smoothing hair from her face and wiping a tissue over her swollen cheeks. "Sweetheart, think of all the fun you and I can have.  Most kids are happy for summer break, just look at Anthony and Johnny."
Their mother's scolding already forgotten, they rushed ahead stripping off their stained shirts and dove into an inflated swimming pool.
Tessa's chin rested upon her chest and her whimpering continued.  "That's because they have someone to play with."
"Well you and I can do plenty together and I'm sure Anthony and Johnny would love to play with you--"
"Mama!" Tessa's face contorted into an expression of horror. "They're boys! And you're old!"
"Oh." Susan frowned.  Her baby was growing up. "Well," Susan hid her dismay by hugging her daughter tightly. "Julie only lives a mile away.  You can still play, phone her or write letters."
Tessa pulled away. "Can she have a sleepover sometime? I'm the only girl in my class who's never had one." Placing her hands on her hips Tessa declared. "I'm not a baby anymore."
"Well," Susan sighed. "Okay."
Tessa's smile lit up her face. "Thank you, mama!" She threw her arms around her mother.
Susan laughed. "As long as you know you'll always be my baby."

 I had quite a few stories with kid characters. Apparently a lot of folk remember those summertime blues from childhood well.  Maureen did a nice job of showing us that parental blues of ‘the kids are home for the summer, now what?’

_______________________________________________________________ 

Ty Mall

Mitch reached for the remote, just beyond his grasp on the couch.  He stretched his fingers.  The remote crashed to the carpet.  Don't need to watch anymore today, anyway.  Enough with the Bugs Bunny reruns already.  His shirt clung to his back, even with the fan.  He wasn't going to take a shower again, not until he had to.  Yelling? Mitch cringed.  Maybe they forgot.  Unable to stop
himself, he looked out the window.  Nope.  Donny and Lewis, riding bikes.  Not that he'd ever been able to keep up before, but it was fun trying.
     Now, he couldn't even do that.  He smelled dirt and grass, and heard the squeak of old shoes running around bases.  Those guys always ended up at the park.  Lydia would be there.
 Mitch sighed, imagining her red hair, her amazing arm.  Faster than any kid two years older, or younger.  Lewis overheard her tell
someone she liked him, but Mitch rolled his eyes at the thought.  People only laughed at the skinny slow kid.  Fast guys were the ones
who got liked.  All this from a kid who put plastic wrap over a public toilet, then told him to use it.  Stupid jerk.  Has to be lying.
     Worst of all, they're having a blast without me.  He willed them all to forget about the park, but didn't think it would work.
     Lemonade's gone.  Mom would slap me if I rattled the ice. Grandpa Jack told him in the old days, fellas would rattle cups in
diners if they wanted more coffee.  But, this wasn't coffee and it also wasn't 1944.  Fellas? Mitch loved Grandpa Jack's old guy stuff, like "britches" for pants and "futher" for "further."
     Mitch stared at the stack of CDs on the couch.  Heard 'em all already.  Outside, the blue, cloudless sky called his name.  He rolled
his head to one side, and whimpered, then pounded the couch, two, three times, sighed, then stopped.  He thought about juggling, but if he dropped something (and he always did), he didn't want to get up to get anything.  Nice of Dad to
turn the fan on for me.
Mitch shook the ice from his glass, into his mouth, looked up at the ceiling, and breathed hard.  Yes.  Volcano.  He spit the ice back.
 Cold volcanoes would be the greatest.  At least school was out, so no make-up work.  Not that he would have had to miss school.  He shuddered, hoping he hadn't jinxed the fun out of summer by thinking of school already.  It was by accident,
so no way.
The carpet felt moist under his toes.  Nasty.  Wonder what would happen if Mom vacuumed?  Mitch imagined a smoked-out living room, with his mom struggling with all her might to pull the vacuum off the carpet.
 Mitch started figuring.  Doc said three weeks.  Before he knew it, he'd be fine, and then he'd give Russell a kick in the butt for
knocking him off his bike and smashing his ankle.

 Count on it.

 Here, we have the kid version of the summertime blues – school’s out, and you’re stuck on the sofa with a broken ankle. What a bummer! Nice showing, Ty.  And I love the wet, squishy carpet.  Serious boredom here.

____________________________________________________ 

Donna McDunn

The afternoon sun beat down on Affy's covered head. Even with the tattered cloth tied around her brow the sweat burned her eyes. She didn't dare brush it away. She might draw attention from the overseer and his whip.
Over her shoulder she carried a burlap bag she filled with cotton. She worked bent over but with efficiency as she plucked the soft, fluffy white cotton out of the bolls. She didn't think about the sharp prongs that held the cotton inside the boll, even as they sometimes cut her fingers and wrists. She concentrated on making her quota for the day or she would receive a beating from the overseer.
Affy did her best to ignore the sweltering heat and the pain in her back and hands. If all goes well, tonight would begin a new life. One filled with freedom and love for the new life she carried inside.
Ned didn't know about the baby. He wouldn't let her come with him if he knew. She would tell him once they were safe. She began to sing with the other slaves,
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Comin' for to carry me home!
I looked over Jordan and what did I see,
Comin' for to carry me home!
A band of angels comin' after me,
Comin' for to carry me home! 
Those words burned into her mind and heart. It was a message from God, telling her not to lose hope. Freedom was near.
Finally the sun began to set and the days' work was over. She made her quota, so there would be no whipping for her this night. Others weren't so lucky.
Her heart thudded in her chest as she pushed her way through the heavy brush, only to find Ned wasn't there. She waited for hours. She had to go back before someone missed her and they set out the dogs. She had been born a slave. She could survive one more day. It would be all right. They had time.
She slipped into the cabin she shared with the old woman and lay down on her ragged cot.
"Where's ya been chil'. I been waitin' for yo'," The old woman said. "I got bad news. That young Ned yo' so fond of got his self sold today."
"Sold?"
"Thas' right...sold..."
The old woman kept talking but Affy stopped listening. It didn't matter who bought Ned or why. He was gone. Nothing mattered now except the new life growing inside her. She put her hands on the tiny mound that was hers' and Ned's baby. She began to softly sing:
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Comin' for to carry me home!
I looked over Jordan and what did I see,
Comin' for to carry me home!
A band of angels comin' after me,
Comin' for to carry me home! 

 These are serious blues and we’ve got a large story suggested here by Affy’s thoughts and words. 

_________________________________________________________ 

 

Linda Garnett

A hot breeze stung Amber's face and bare arms as she swung back her front door. Her backless sandals slapped against her heels as she navigated down  the concrete steps to the sidewalk.  "Jake!" she yelled as she ran toward him, a raven haired guy in ripped jeans
loading suitcases into a battered van with the help of his brother Pete.
Both turned around and waved to her. Jake whispered to Pete and watched him  trot back into the ramshackle house. "Amber, what's up?"
Amber threw her arms around his warm neck. "I've thought about it and I want  to come with you. It won't take me long to pack if you can wait."
Jake frowned and slowly pulled her arms from around his neck. "We've talked about this. You can't come with me, at least not now."
Amber bit her bottom lip and jammed her hands into the pockets of her cut-offs. "I know we have but I want something more than school right now. I want to travel and I want to be with you, don't you get it?"
Jake placed his hand under her chin and turned her face up to his. "You are not giving up your college scholarship. You're a talented artist and I'm not going to have you throw it away to be with me and the band."
She took several steps backwards and threw up her hands. "I'm not throwing anything away. I don't need school, I can use my art to help you design your CD covers, t-shirts and other stuff. It would be my dream job."
Jake let out a deep breath and gripped her hands in his. "A music career is what  I have dreamed of since we left high school. My success means the road is my life.  Your success is to finish school and you don't have much longer to go."
She yanked her hands from his and crossed her arms. A trail of black mascara tears  slid down her cheeks. "You lied to me. I've been your summer romance, haven't I? Those long walks on the beach, the hours we spent talking on my porch meant nothing  to you. How stupid I was to think that you, Mr. Rock Star, would seriously be interested in me."
He brushed away her tears and tucked a stray red strand of hair behind her ear.  "You aren't a summer romance. If I hadn't decided to visit my folks this summer, I would've never have met up again with you. You're the girl next door who has stolen  my heart."
Jake kissed her gently on the lips and whispered in her ear, "Keep me in your plans for the holidays and I'll keep you in mine."
The blast of the van's horn jolted them apart. They turned to see Pete leaning out the driver's side window. "Jake, let's go, you have a plane to catch!"
Amber caught a sob in her throat as she waved at the retreating back of the van.

Ah, we have the bittersweet summertime romance. Very nice ‘showing’ and body language that gives us emotion and tone of voice. Well done.   Linda’s craft is very strong, she shows us the backstory through dialogue, and her use of body language and visual action ‘shows’ us emotional nuances and lets us hear the right tone of voice.   I did have a very close second in Donna’s powerful story of Affe, but that would be stronger if you reduce the narrative distance, so it couldn’t quite overtake our summertime romance here.  Ve

Very nice stories all of you! 

Stay tuned for my next prompt!  It’s going to be a fun one.

MARKET NEWS –  Minnesota Monthly Tamarack Award Writing Contest

This is actually courtesy of Suzanne – but the deadline is this week, so I thought I’d better get it out here right now. If you live in any of these states and you have a story you’ve already done, you’re all set!  The contest is for short fiction up to 4,000 words is open to residents in Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, North Dakota, South Dakota, and Iowa. The winning entry will appear in the November 2009 issue of Minnesota Monthly. In addition, the story may be read on Minnesota Public Radio. (And wouldn’t that be cool?  Tell us so we can listen, if you win!) This contest requires two printed copies of the manuscript. Please mail your entry to:

2008 Tamarack Award;  Minnesota Monthly; 600 U.S. Trust Building; 730 S. Second Ave.; Minneapolis, MN 55402  Check out their submission guidelines at:  http://www.minnesotamonthly.com/media/Minnesota-Monthly/Join-In/Tamarack-Award-Submissions/   There’s no entry fee.

SUZANNE LILLY'S CONTEST CORNER --

Suzanne Lilly is a writer, teacher, and graduate of the Long Ridge Writers Group. She blogs about teaching and writing at http://www.teacherwriter.net. Her complete bio is at http://www.suzannelilly.com Welcome to the Newsletter, Suzanne, and thanks for the contest tips!

• Electric Dragon Café Short Story Writing Contest
• Free
• Deadline:  July 15, 2009
• Guidelines:   http://www.spoonfulsofstoriescontest.com/registration_form/

 

Cheerios is sponsoring the third annual contest for writers of children’s fiction. Winners receive $5,000 and publication of their books by Simon and Schuster. The winning story of the 2007 contest, “The Great Dog Wash” is available at bookstores and in specially marked boxes of Cheerios. Stories should be submitted through the online submission form.

 

  

THE WANT ADS:

Don't forget, if you need expert help, if you want a critique partner, if you're a publisher and you need submissions for your new contest, this is the place for your free ad! Send your want ad to me at: MaryRosenblum@forums.longridgewritersgroup.com and I'll post it here. Don't forget to include contact information so that people can reach you with their responses.

I need an agent or publicist to assist me with the sale of my latest book.  I do not know when it will be published but it is in the text department at present.  I have no expertise is self promotion or the sale of my book.  My first book did ok but I did not know how to market it satisfactorily. I  would like very much to have it be a success.
Jo Ann Schermerhorn  135 Amarillo Drive   Magnolia, TX  77354

Willamette Writers Conference opens for registration on April 20.  You can find all the information about registering and what is offered on the Conference Web Site  This is a very large and excellent conference that includes fiction, nonfiction, and film professionals.  I’ll be conducting three panels there and participating in the writers workshop as well.  It’s an excellent conference and fills up every year. 

Y-City Writers Conference on October 10, 2009 at the Coburn United Methodist Church, 3618 North Maple Avenue, Zanesville, Ohio 43701
$30, includes lunch
Local Authors will present workshops on various topics.
For additional information visit www.ycitywriters.com/forum or contact Patricia A. West-Volland at paw105591@hotmail.com

REVIEWS AND TIPS:  

Here’s a clip waiting for you!  Send those reviews and tips  to me at: MaryRosenblum@forums.longridgewritersgroup.com

 

REMINDERS

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